Question, do you ever get news that are bad but it does not actually hit you. And when it finally does you don't know how to handle it?
Well that is me right now. I was told some shocking news and I did not know how to handle it. All I knew was wow. Now it's hitting me. It's hitting me. I am not sure how to react other than, ok.
That brings me to my next point. When you are told something I am starting to learn that it is to take sometime to process and take your time to understand what something really means. I will admit though it is not easy. It's habit for me to think I can handle everything and just out on a brave face. Then someone very important to me, reminded me that I am a human and not a machine. I am pretty sure Sam (not their real name) said that because I was bottling everything up. I kept saying I was ok, or that I needed to be ok, and they caught my my BS and told me that I was allowed to feel and that it was ok to just let it out and talk to someone about things.
To sum up last week, my car was broken into. I am pretty sure that same person was the person that tried to break into my home. Luckily, as soon as they heard the music I was playing they ran off. I knew they were trying to break in because after I heard something by the door I looked at threw the peep whole of my door and saw a hooded figure trying to break into my home. I started playing music in hopes that it would scare them off, and it worked. I was scared but I had so much going on that it did not really hit me till later that night. I kept a good face and even posted on my social media pictures of my friend and I laughing and having a good time. But Sam, for some unknown reason, knew that something was up and confronted me. I cried so much that night. And it wasn't just out of fear it was a combination of every little thing that had happened to me that week, starting on Sunday and ending today, and relief that I did not have to put a front on for Sam. In all reality even though I know that I don't have to put on a front for Sam, doesn't mean that I won't try. I will one day learn that a front is not needed. For now I will be grateful to have an amazing person like Sam in my life.
*SAM IS NOT THE REAL NAME OF THE PERSON, BUT FOR PRIVACY REASONS I HAVE CHANGED THEIR NAME*
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